How to Carry Yourself

M-J's Miscellany

French Philosophy of Parenthood

Posted on February 5, 2012 at 1:00 AM

Enfants_Bal_Bois_de_Boulogne_Paris_1880s
In a Wall Street Journal article adapted from her new book, “Bringing up Bébé” (Penguin Press; February, 2012) , Pamela Druckerman of France reveals Gallic secrets of educating small children for a lifetime of civilised behaviour. Every parent who is experiencing stress and bewilderment at the process of training tots can benefit from learning traditional French techniques and philosophies that, when effectively employed, will positively affect the most important years of their progeny's lives.
Why French Parents Are Superior, by Pamela Druckerman

Elegant Haircut

Posted on November 14, 2011 at 7:55 PM

My husband describes the haircut he gives me as "the right cut for a woman of substance". Copyright M-J de Mesterton, Elegant Survival, 2011

Best Solution to Plumber's Butt

Posted on November 11, 2011 at 9:10 AM

Duluth Trading Co. is marketing a longer tee-shirt to solve "plumber's butt". In their radio advert, Duluth takes a robo-dump on "mom jeans", furthering the perverted notion that trousers should only rise to the hips or private area. The only sensible solution to plumber's crack, a look that always inspires derision among the clivilised, is to insist on trousers that go up to the waist--you know, that region one inch above your navel.... Jeans and work-pants that start down around your lower gut or hips will never stay up, no matter how long your tee-shirt is. And who wants a billowing shirt above their low-slung trousers, making a person look preggers? That sad result makes all the snide comments and chiding about "mom jeans" ring hollow, since nearly everyone who wears their garment below waist-level is sporting what appears to be a baby-bump.

~~M-J

Rational Sizing for American Women's Clothing

Posted on August 4, 2011 at 8:49 AM

Remember normal-sized clothing for women, before the fashion industry started distorting sizing in order to flatter the anorexia cult? Standard sizing no longer exists, as a dress with a 36-inch bust is now labelled as anything between size 4 and size 14, depending upon whom the maker is targeting. And today's "size 12", whatever that represents, is now often being labelled "plus" for the purpose of charging more for a normal size. Recent research results show that the average American woman weighs 164 pounds, and, in a rational sizing system, would wear a size 12. Some of the styles offered by the U.S.' top elite department store, Manhattan's Bergdorf Goodman, in 1948 started at size 12, and went up to size 20. Originally, "plus sizes" were anything above size twenty. In 1948, this black silk dress was offered at Bergdorf Goodman in sizes 10--20. If a woman wanted something smaller, she had to shop in the children's section.

When shopping for clothing in autumn 2011, pay no attention to sizing numbers, which are misleading and no longer standard; instead, follow the bust, waist and hip measurements.

©M-J de Mesterton

How to Dress on Safari

Posted on July 26, 2011 at 8:52 AM

Elegant Dressing on Safari

The classic safari dress, by Burberrys

Elegant Survival on Safari

Elegant Survival tip: the more of your skin that is covered by clothing, the safer you are from the elements, sun and insects in particular. Even in the U.S., insects can cause deadly diseases such as Lyme, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, and West Nile virus. People assume that hot weather requires a baring of skin, which is a fallacy. Natural fibres have a wicking action to keep your skin dry of perspiration, thus keeping you cool. And, everyone but the unenlightened knows now that getting sunburnt/tanned on purpose isn't cool! Smart people wear long sleeves and trousers, long socks, boots and skirts. Do all you can to protect against malaria and other insect-borne diseases. Desert-dwellers cover as much skin as possible, and for good reason. So, whether you're in the high desert, the heavily-wooded forest, or in the savannahs of Africa, my elegant survival rule of covering yourself from head-to-toe with luxurious fabrics is infinitely relevant.

©M-J de Mesterton Sources for Traditional Safari Clothing Hunting World: New Old Stock Cabela's Tag Safari Eddie Bauer House of Fraser Linen Safari Dress

Cabela’s safari vest is such a useful garment, figure-flattering and versatile to the point that you will find ways to dress it up for wear in town: hats, long-sleeved tees, cashmere turtlenecks, shirts with collar and cuffs, corduroy trousers, silk scarves knotted at the neck, wool neckties, foulards–the possibilities are endless. Or, just throw it on for quick trips outdoors, because it has your flashlight or torch in one of its many pockets already, together with other small survival tools that you have hidden there. Cabela’s safari vest is fashioned with a focus on fine form and function, perfect for stylish men. Grab it and go, with the rugged glamour that a classic piece of clothing gives a guy!

Copyright M-J de Mesterton 2010

©M-J de Mesterton 2010

The Wandering Waist

Posted on May 26, 2011 at 10:05 AM

The waistcoat worn by the U.S. president this week was too long, while the belts worn by his wife were too high. And I saw a photo of Oprah Winfrey wearing a light purple dress with another too-high belt, a look which gives the illusion of a baby-bump just underneath it. It's as though everyone has forgotten where the waist is actually located: at least one inch above the navel.

©M-J de Mesterton

The Sun-Dress

Posted on May 26, 2011 at 10:03 AM

Poppy Galore Sundress by Tommy Bahama

Just as its name indicates, the sun-dress or sundress is meant to be worn in the most casual manner, on the beach or while sunning one's self. The sun-dress is not something that a woman ought to wear to luncheon or lunch, unless that occasion is pool-side or at a beach resort, when one may have just showered off after a swim in the sea. Sundresses do not belong at elegant luncheons or on city streets. Elegant Dressing necessitates a knowledge of propriety in attire; there is a time and a place for everything under the sun. ©M-J de Mesterton

Smooth Talkers

Posted on May 2, 2011 at 11:45 AM

L'Homme Elégant, by Edouard Touraine, 1912

Recently, I wrote an editorial lamenting the sad state of women's voices. It is entitled, "Gals are Growling: What Gives?" In it, I recommend that today's women listen to yesterday's smooth-talking ladies in movies. Today's female voices often sound like trombones filled with cottage cheese, rather than like euphonious flutes. Listening to current newscasts, television shows and advertisements from American media will demonstrate this to the conscious listener, whereas in previous decades, women spoke without lowering their voices to gravelly, guttural levels. I've just begun to find examples of smooth-voiced, elegant women of the past. They appear on Elegant Survival Blog's Smooth Talkers page.

©M-J de Mesterton

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

Posted on April 29, 2011 at 10:59 AM

Two times earlier this year I posted my opinion about bridal gowns or wedding dresses*. I said that women of high station wear long sleeves and high necklines. I was vindicated this morning, as the new bride of Prince William wore a very tasteful dress with traditional lace long-sleeves, high neck, full skirt and an actual waistline. I'm very pleased to see my prediction borne out in such a lovely way by an elegant, dignified bride.

The Princess' choice of demurely pendulous earrings and no necklace was perfect.

Let us hope that women of all ages eschew the strapless, sleeveless gowns they have been sporting of late (which resemble nothing so much as swimsuits with trains), and take a cue on timeless, classic style from a Princess.

©M-J de Mesterton

April 29th, 2011

*Click here to read my aforementioned posts about bridal gowns.

Nostalgia: Remember Elegantly-Dressed Men?

Posted on April 12, 2011 at 10:09 AM

Remember Elegantly-Dressed Men?

In this stylish drawing of a man, you don't see a skinny jacket that is bursting open to expose sad trousers that hang at the hip, a bulging shirt and too-long tie. What we see here is a man who wears his trousers at the right length, ones that don't pile-up like discarded potato sacks on top of his shoes, and which come up to the actual human waist, thereby visually lengthening his legs. And we see the gentleman's traditional accessories: hat, gloves and walking-stick, all of which serve a purpose, including protection from the elements, enthusiastic pigeons, dirt, germs, roving animals, and whoever may dare to attack him or anyone else in his immediate vicinity; the gentleman is always well-prepared for a stroll down today's mean streets. Alas, this picture is clipped from an advert by Burberrys that appears in one of my 1930s Sphere magazines. Today's men, in general, look like short, dumpy cads in clothes that are designed to distort human proportions. (Add the slovenly yet popular three-day growth beard to complete a tragic modern image.) Never in history has so much sartorial splendour been readily accessible, and yet men have seldom looked worse. It doesn't cost any more to dress correctly than it does to do it badly, especially since some of the ghastliest clothes are going for the highest prices. There are few contemporary examples of elegant dressing in trendy venues and magazines. Help yourself by not following fashion, but instead by looking toward the best elements of the past for useful examples of tasteful masculine dress.

Smooth-Talkers

Posted on December 3, 2010 at 9:48 AM

New Page on Elegant Speech

by M-J de Mesterton:

Smooth-Talkers

Important Speech by Dennis Prager

Posted on October 1, 2010 at 2:43 PM

A Speech Every North American High School Principal Should Give,

By Dennis Prager

Gals are Growling: What Gives?

Posted on September 28, 2010 at 4:49 PM

Every time I am exposed to radio or television--and that isn't often--I am puzzled by a new trend in women's speech. If one has never ceased monitoring popular U.S. broadcasting outlets, entertainment and media advertising, it may not be apparent to them. Being in the habit of avoiding American pop-culture--and only occasionally witnessing the stuff--like Rip van Winkle, I have suddenly awakened in a world that has changed drastically. Women, especially those under fifty, are chirping their sentences like Valley Girls, and culminating them in a very fatigued, strained-sounding growl. This guttural sound is not feminine, and I don't know whence its inspiration, nor whom they are attempting to emulate. Listening to a paragraph spoken by one of these hapless victims of fashion is like travelling ten miles of bad gravel-road.

There is a better way to speak, which simply involves modulating one's voice in a soft tone all the way to the end of each sentence, leaving that grating growl to the dogs and to your male counterparts. Men really don't think it's sexy. I've heard gents describe this new manner of female-speaking in the most unflattering of terms. For examples of attractive feminine speech, old movies are instructive. Even Lauren Bacall didn't do the gritty, guttural growl. This new way of talking must have been in fashion for quite some time while I "slept," because it takes a concerted effort to put into effect--in fact, some of us find it impossible to imitate. Maintaining a pleasant and natural tone, terminating your phrases with a definite stop instead of an audible question-mark, is a winning habit. Dragging the last syllable out longer than those in the rest of the sentence is bad diction, and ought to be avoided. I don't like to preach--leave that to other writers. That said, I occasionally feel the need to make a suggestion. Mocking some pop-tart who is piled-out on coke, booze and cigarettes is a losing proposition in any facet of your life, so it would be good for you girls to get the gravel out of your gullets, and start sounding like real women again!

Edwin Newman, Elegant Survivor: 1919-2010

Posted on September 15, 2010 at 3:49 PM

The brilliant, amusing journalist and English pundit Edwin Newman passed away on September 13th in Oxford, England at the age of 91. Every time I saw his books in our home library, I prayed to God that the author was doing all right and enjoying life. Mr. Newman was our keynote speaker at the English-Speaking Union World Conference in Princeton circa 1997. There, I took photos of the great television newsman speaking, and had him sign my copy of "I Must Say." I read his hilarious, incisive book, "Strictly Speaking," on an airplane when I was seventeen, which taught me much and enhanced my love of the language. Thank you, Edwin Newman!